Parent - Teen - Sex Talk

Telling a sexually interested or active teenager to not engage in sexual activity is like shoveling sand against the adolescent tide. Once a child goes through puberty, his or her body is equipped to procreate, and it's difficult to reverse their interest in sex once puberty takes hold.

First things first - You as parents need to realize the above fully and at the same time also realize that SEX is not a dirty word. Getting comfortable with the word SEX in front of your young ones can be quite a daunting task. Its good to try practicing speaking about it without being uncomfortable. Once you have got a certain comfort using that word then embark upon sharing related advice to the children.

Find a good time for it...it could be right after a spirit uplifting family moment..say sharing the joy of your child making good grades or wining a competition or plain doing you proud on anything. Whatever pick your moment well to broach the topic. Use a question technique to break ice - say....' Are you aware what exactly AIDS is " ???

Whatever the answer is do add your views to the topic....remember its not an AIDS Lecture but its about getting the topic of SEX in....Make them comfortable by telling them that SEX is not a dirty word nor a dirty act...but that it is about three Ps - Procreate ; Premature and Promiscuous !

Procreate is simple ...all species indulge in procreation of their own kind and have different methods to do it. However even a simple aim like that comes with its set of do it instructions.....

Premature is what we all are scared of as parents. For sure we do not want them to be naive about SEX but well the act itself would require a certain amount of emotional maturity to handle. there is no age defined as such for sex to be practiced as an act but then one thing is for sure that mere puberty does not spell a GO AHEAD ! In fact far from it....

The first and the foremost prerequisite of sex is to be able to handle it emotionally well.

It should not lead to a trauma or a feeling of inadequacy or a guilt complex

normally one matures around 18 to realize the importance of emotional foundation for SEX. It is different from hunger even when a new born would cry and demand food.without feeling any emotions.

Since the enjoyment part comes later by nature and is a mere means for leading you on to procreate...as nature designed it - one needs to have a liking for the partner which is about establishing an emotional base and then going for it gradually BY MUTUAL CONSENT ...Else SEX becomes FORCED SEX and qualifies as RAPE and Harassment.

Hence as parents we need to tell our kids that emotional connect proceeds SEX else it is lust. SEX comes with respect for the opposite sex and human angle is necessary as in contrast to treat sex partner as an object of release or mere enjoyment.

It is not about telling your child to get fixed in their choices about partners etc which is impractical but at least they should know that at that point on time they must nurture their care and respect for the partner.

I am sure you and the children would say that is too much to excerpt from the KIDS...WELL THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT....INDULGE WHEN EMOTIONALLY MATURE !

We now come to the third P...Promiscuous...This is exactly the anti thesis of what we talked about in the Premature portion. Any emotion bereft or Premature SEX is being promiscuous and is a harbinger of SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE; SEX RELATED CRIMES; SEX RELATED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS; UNWANTED PREGNANCIES; SOCIAL STIGMA; RUINED MARRIAGES.....ETC ETC !

Do not hesitate to give live examples around you to demonstrate your point but do take care to not be derogatory.

Go ahead - invite your teen for a healthy friendly discussion on SEX without any feeling of shyness !

Happy Reading !