PEER PRESSURE
Though we all have a fair
idea of what it means………let us still begin by understanding the term Peer
Pressure – It is a Social pressure by members of one's peer group to take a
certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in order to be
accepted.
Scene
at a store in a mall – Three teenagers at a candy store..one of
them a bit hesitantly trying to slip in candy unnoticed into her handbag and
the other two egging her on…’come on…we dare you…You can…..we are sure…’…and
she does it..Heart thumping and palms sweating... but she manages a cool demeanor
as she walks out of the store to her grinning friends waiting outside.
First timer that she is....she
blurts out – “OMG - I would not have shop lifted normally but you guys made me do it..” Friends insist that it is a cool act…but she knows sans the pressure by her friends she would never have done it. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF PEER PRESSURE!!!
How these groups come about
is worth digging. Kids of similar age group have similar interests and goals. They
are thrown together more often than with their siblings and parents. Somewhere down the
line they start influencing each other in their decisions and conduct. Nothing wrong
or needing to feel alarmed about it —
it's human nature to listen to and learn from other people in their age group.
They are driven by a compulsive need to fit in – BE COOL or in other words not
be considered as UNCOOL !
There are two things to remember when we talk about Peer Group and its Pressures – One is that
contrary to the belief that Peer Group and accompanying pressure is all negative and has an adverse effect on the
kids is not true …there are unmistakable positives too. The other thing is –
Covert and Overt Peer Pressure.
Let’s take up first the
positives of Peer Group. There are certain areas peer pressure works
beautifully in favor and positively too.Teens are dealing with the
pressures of growing up, discovering who they are, what they are good at, where
they lack, what does the world expect out of them …add to it their physiological, emotional and biological changes which confuse them further. Then they also
discover emotions like love and anger and curiosity towards the adult world –
ughhhhhhhhhhh talk about pressures ..I am sure they have plenty to deal with. Under
such circumstances it is good to have your peer group around as they are all in
the same boat and help tide this phase over with comparative comfort. Few positives
of having a peer group :
·Friends to share and care…Muahhhhhh
·Inspiration ( some athlete friend or topper
in a subject might inspire your teen to also become like them and more
importantly they discover that everything is possible and it’s OK to dream and
chase that dream)
·Taking steam off – Sounding board to each
other
·A support system – (In a lighter vein ..On
late arrival of his son after a date Dad calls three friends separately to cross
check if his son was actually at a friend’s
place studying as the son had told him….”Where is such and such ?’’’ All friends try and
cover up – I st friend – sir he is sitting in another room and studying..Combined
studies you see….Should I give him the phone ??? 2 nd Friend – Yes sir he was
right here has just left two minutes ago. 3rd friend was the tops –
YES DAD Tell me why have you called …..)
·Advice : Surprisingly at times they can
advice each other well on some issues being able to relate better (homogeneous group)
·Socializing especially with opposite sex
·New experiences – Through honest and frank sharing
The pressure to conform to do what others are doing can be hard to resist. Peer pressure can influence a person to do something that is relatively harmless — or something that is more serious. Giving in to the pressure to pierce an ear is one thing — going along with the crowd to do drugs or drink or smoke is an absolute no no.
Responding
to peer-pressure is natural — but some teens are more likely to give in, and
others are better able to resist. Teens who are low on confidence, unsure of
themselves and those who tend to follow rather than lead could be more likely prey
to it.
There
are no two things about it that negative peer pressure must be not given in to
at any cost. This involves the ability to decipher what is a no go and the fall
out of foolishly venturing into that zone and also the ability to say no with
tact and at times bluntly – like a true leader and not a blind meek follower.
A few tips –
· Educate your
Teen about the no go areas like drugs and Pre mature sex and Smoking etc in
details painting the fall out effect scenario vividly
· Teens should go by
their gut feel on what is right and what is wrong
· Learning and practicing
to say NO comfortably
· Developing Leader
like Traits
· Trust parents to
help you out at times – example you want to say no to a picnic where you know
there will be drugs etc then tell them to say NO on your behalf or you can
guiltlessly put the blame on your parents that they are not permitting you to go.
· Hang out with your
kinds more and from a support group within your group.
· In a dangerous
out of hand situation do not hesitate to confide in your parents and elders.
It's not always easy to resist negative peer
pressure, but when you do, you really feel good about it. Who knows - You may
even be a positive influence on your peers who feel the same way — mostly it
just takes one person to speak out or take a different action to change a
situation….all that if you have the courage to do something different or refuse
to go along the wrong path. Consider yourself a leader, and know that you have
the potential to make a difference.
Just one word of advice to remember by which will help in coping
with Peer Pressure - If you don't want to be
average, don't rush into doing what the crowd is doing!!!
Happy Reading – Uncle teen
HR Power House !
Comments
Post a Comment